Archives: Banished Words 1976
At This Point in Time -
Why not say "now," or "today?"
Typical Delay-by-Elongation, giving subject at press
conference time to think up plausible lie, e.g. "At
this point in time we are, err, mmmmm, unaware of the
allegation that the earth is round." -Queen Isabella.
Meaningful - Has lost all
of its meaningfulness.
Input - Has
unfortunately replaced "contribution." Often
used in combination; as "meaningful input."
Scenario - Spread like
wildfire after Watergate. It can be roughly translated as
"I don't know what had happened (or will happen) but
this is a scenario." Means: "I'm making this up."
Also used when reporter doesn't want to use "according
to unimpeachable source."
Detente - Invented by
Henry Kissinger. Nobody else knows what it means, and now
even Kissinger has forgotten. [Before the year was out
the president of the United States also banished "detente."
Later, voters banished Kissinger and the president.]
Dialogue - and its other
form Meaningful Dialogue. Neither has meaning remaining
Macho - Seldom
pronounced properly and therefore lacks meaningfulness.
Implement and Viable -
Gobbledygook disguised as intelligence: as in "that
is not a viable alternative which we can implement."
Meaning: "We don't want to do it and think you have
a crazy idea here."
Call for Resignation -
Of all sports reporter who fail to state clearly in the
lead: The winner and the score.
(NOTE: The only police
powers of the Unicorn Hunters is to make violatore
members of the Unicorn Hunters and then excommunicate
them; or, to "put the pips" on the offender. (Printed
post card pip forms are available at the packet with
instructions.) Final punishment is banishment to Neebish
Island in the St. Mary's River near Sault Ste. Marie, or
Zug Island in the lower Dertroit River (which is
sometimes difficult to find because of industrial smog
and oil slick).
1976 RESTORATION: Mugient
- meaning "to low or bellow, as a cow." Word
fell into disuse in 17th century. Unicorn Hunters support
its revival. It was most appropriate for use in 1976 as
an election year.