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Alum Success

Gary Benjamin

Gary Benjamin '70

President and COO, Champion, Inc.
Iron Mountain, MI

LSSU Business, Economics, and Legal Studies Distinguished Alumni '07

Former LSSU Board Trustee

Archives: Banished Words 1976

At This Point in Time - Why not say "now," or "today?" Typical Delay-by-Elongation, giving subject at press conference time to think up plausible lie, e.g. "At this point in time we are, err, mmmmm, unaware of the allegation that the earth is round." -Queen Isabella.

Meaningful - Has lost all of its meaningfulness.

Input - Has unfortunately replaced "contribution." Often used in combination; as "meaningful input."

Scenario - Spread like wildfire after Watergate. It can be roughly translated as "I don't know what had happened (or will happen) but this is a scenario." Means: "I'm making this up." Also used when reporter doesn't want to use "according to unimpeachable source."

Detente - Invented by Henry Kissinger. Nobody else knows what it means, and now even Kissinger has forgotten. [Before the year was out the president of the United States also banished "detente." Later, voters banished Kissinger and the president.]

Dialogue - and its other form Meaningful Dialogue. Neither has meaning remaining in it.

Macho - Seldom pronounced properly and therefore lacks meaningfulness.

Implement and Viable - Gobbledygook disguised as intelligence: as in "that is not a viable alternative which we can implement." Meaning: "We don't want to do it and think you have a crazy idea here."

Call for Resignation - Of all sports reporter who fail to state clearly in the lead: The winner and the score.

(NOTE: The only police powers of the Unicorn Hunters is to make violatore members of the Unicorn Hunters and then excommunicate them; or, to "put the pips" on the offender. (Printed post card pip forms are available at the packet with instructions.) Final punishment is banishment to Neebish Island in the St. Mary's River near Sault Ste. Marie, or Zug Island in the lower Dertroit River (which is sometimes difficult to find because of industrial smog and oil slick).

1976 RESTORATION: Mugient - meaning "to low or bellow, as a cow." Word fell into disuse in 17th century. Unicorn Hunters support its revival. It was most appropriate for use in 1976 as an election year.

Career Focused...

Rebecca Secrest

Rebecca Secrest
Social Science
Alanson, MI

"LSSU's size is perfect. I see familiar faces every day. There is a security and comfort in that. The professors are wonderful, and there is a lot of interaction in the smaller classes. The level of attention students get is the same as at a small private college, but at a great price." [ more ]

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