Archives: Banished Words 1991
Address –
"It's political double talk, as in 'We must address
that problem.' Perhaps something would actually get done
if people would identify, analyze and resolve problems,
not just say 'howdy' to them." Jack Dietrich,
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Apartments Now Renting –
"If apartments can rent, why hire managers?"
Nell Gaball, Marquette, Michigan
Budget/Deficit Reduction
Plan – "Get real! The only folks
with wallets big enough to tackle America's deficit are
Japanese bankers. We all know how fat their wallets are
from the interest alone! Add in new pork-barrel spending
programs attached by Congress and what you've really go t
is a black hole/economic collapse/drag-down plan."
Nick Sawyer, Escanaba, Michigan
Center Median –
"as in, "The snow is causing cars to slide into
the center median." Where else could the median be?"
Lucinda Gangler, Durand, Michigan
Choreography –
(for planning, rather than dancing.)
Close to Everything –
In the middle of a commercial area
Creative Differences –
"Hollywood speak for 'We hated each other's guts."
Dale M. Johnson, Cincinnati, Ohio
Dead Meat –
"About as annihilated as you can get." (Editor:
Meat means edible flesh. Only cannibals are known to find
fresh.
Faux Pearls or Diamonds –
"with a certificate of authenticity." Marie
Pooler, Aurora, Colorado
Handy-Man
Special – Condemned
If You Will –
"A most painful, ear-splitting speech affectation. A
day does not pass without hearing it at least a dozen
times from every politician, government official, talk
show host, newscaster, sportscaster, interviewer,
interviewee and pseudo intellectual."(Editor:"If
you will" may replace "In God We Trust" as
the motto for our "kinder, gentler" and
secularized nation.) Adam E. Klafta, San Diego,
California
Longer Hours –
"Users of this phrase mean 'more hours', not longer
hours. This is a clear corruption of language and logic"(Editor:
A longer hour may be 63 minutes. Watch out workers.)
Marty Bloom, La Jolla, California
Lower Level –
Basement
Mopping-Up Operation –
To refer to a military action. "This is far too
friendly a description for a situation where people are
being shot. Please eliminate it before we start 'mopping
up in the Middle East."(Editor: What's around to mop
after the battle? Can you mop-up sand?) Rick Duerson,
Escanaba, Michigan
Mouth-Watering Prices –
"Gosh, even the prices are mouth-watering!"
Multidisciplinary Current
Awareness Product – In a news release
advertising a research journal from the Institute for
Scientific Information, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Anne
Woiwode, Lansing, Michigan
Myself –
The misuse of this reflexive pronoun has been nominated
for more than a decade and was banned in 1990. “Please
see Mr. Keating (Lincoln Savings and Loan) or myself for
any large unsecured loan that you need,” should be
“see Charles Keating Jr. or me.” What’s
the dodge behind the overuse of myself? The diminishment
of personal responsibility? Avoidance of incrimination by
self-indulgence? The 1990 worldwide censure failed
miserably. Empirical evidence gathered from the press,
radio, television (including S-Span) and eavesdropping
suggests that myself is disproportionately displacing me
in routine usage. The displacement ration is estimated at
5000:1 and maybe expressed, and recalled, if not entirely
misunderstood, as E=mc2. E (big Error) = m (me) c (compromised)2
Although no comparable formula had yet been developed,
“yourself” and “himself” are fast
following “myself” into the helix of misuse.
The reflexive pronoun has become a reflex. It appears to
be overused or misused by all those who fear being
labeled self-serving. It should be termed the “compromise”
pronoun. It may also be termed a “refuge pronoun”
for those seeking to avoid personal responsibility and
any for of accountability and prosecution.
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