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I. Where is your Office?320 KJS Library. That’s in the same section of the Library building as Cappuccino Corner, not the library itself. If you get lost looking for my office, go to Cappuccino Corner, take the elevator to the 3rd floor (remember that for no apparent reason, the second floor is the ground floor at LSSU). Exit the elevator and walk down the hallway until you hit the cross-hall. You’ll have to turn left or right. Turn right. Go down the hallway, hang another right at the stairs. My office is about 1/3 the way up the hallway on the left.
II. When are your Office Hours?Office hours for Fall Semester 2003 are posted next to my office door. I will also announce them in class after the first couple days of class. You can also make an appointment to see me if these hours aren’t convenient for you.
III. How do I get hold of you outside of Office Hours?Email me. Really, it’s your best chance. If you absolutely, positively feel compelled to call me, my office number is 635-2116 (1-906-632-6841 ext. 2116). Do not call me at home unless I have given out my home number in class—otherwise you risk extreme ridicule.
IV. Are conferences required?If class has been cancelled to accommodate the conference schedule, or if you are enrolled in a class that is taught on a tutorial basis (such as EN 310), then conferences are mandatory. Otherwise, conferences are at your discretion, as you need them.
V. Where are conferences held?In my office, unless we make arrangements for another meeting place. If you arrive at my office and I’m not there, check for a note on the door. If there’s not a message directing you to meet me somewhere else, or canceling the appointment because of an emergency, have a seat. Chances are I’ve just stepped out for a second to check my mail or run other errands.
VI. How should I prepare for a conference?Complete any assigned readings, and bring two rough drafts (one for me and one for you) of any assignment you are currently working on with you to the conference. You may also wish to bring something to take notes with, since you will probably want to make notes of my comments about your paper on your copy of it. If you are in a class taught on a tutorial basis (such as EN 220), be sure to check your copy of the Writing Conference Record from our last meeting for any additional instructions.
VII. Can I bring a guest to class?With my permission, yes. However, you do not need my permission to bring your children with you to class, provided you don’t intend to make a habit of it. So, if your child care craps out at the last minute, don’t panic. Just pack the kid up and bring ‘em along. I’ve been known to give lectures while feeding newborns. J
VIII. What is your attendance policy?I don’t really have one. You’re an adult. If you have to miss class, you have to miss class—and I really don’t care whether it’s because you’re ill, have a sick child, a transmission beyond repair, or an irresistible urge to lay on the beach. So do not make excuses, and don’t confront me with doctor’s slips. I don’t need them. The exception here is, of course, if you need to be gone from class for more than 2 or 3 consecutive meetings (for example, to attend a funeral)—then do let me know in advance so that I won’t worry. If you miss more than a couple of weeks of class due to military service, medical condition, or family emergency (for example, your cat started a fire and your living room is now well-toasted) you may be asked to verify your absence for the purposes of documenting it for an Incomplete grade for the semester. This is one of only two reasons I ask for documentation. (For the other reason, see Question XII.)
IX. What is your policy about coming late to class?If you make a habit of it, don’t be surprised if you find yourself locked out of the classroom.
X. How do I get an excused absence?I don’t give excused absences, since absences are not used in the calculation of your course grade. Be advised, however, that if you miss a class, you may miss a graded in-class assignment, or not receive information that might have an effect on your grade.
XI. How do I get make-up work?You should get notes for any class you miss from your classmates. Your classmates may charge up to $50.00 for such notes (more than that and I’ll get testy). If you missed an in-class exercise, assignment, or quiz, you can’t make it up. If you missed the distribution of handouts or paper assignments, you can usually obtain copies from either me or your classmates. (But do be aware that I don’t run extra copies of assignments, so if I’m out of copies you’ll have to get one from someone else in the class.)
XII. How do I make up or reschedule a test?Unless you are bedridden (in which case you’ll have to provide a doctor’s excuse which specifically states you are not to attend class), or have an excused absence from the Provost’s Office (for a field trip or other scheduled university event), you can’t. Of course, if you fall into the University’s guidelines for rescheduling a final exam, you will be allowed to do so.
XIII. Do you have a hidden agenda for this course/assignment/lecture?Yes. And when you figure out what it is, I’ll be glad to confirm it.
XIV. Why do you assign so much work? Don’t you understand that I have other classes too?The only way to learn how to write is to write. The only way to learn literature is to read it. This requires a lot of hard work, but there’s nothing I can do about that, it’s just the way things are. Of course, I could expect you to learn less, and cut your work load that way—but I’m pretty sure that you’d not think good thoughts about me in your dotage if I did. And yes, I understand that you have other classes besides mine. Guess what? I expect you to do all the work for those classes too! See, we don’t call it a “college career” without a reason. If you are enrolled “full-time”, then this is your career for the entire length of your tenure at LSSU. (See how terms like “full-time” and “tenure” apply to students AND faculty?) Even if you have a “part-time” job to help pay for your “full-time” education, college is your career (unless you’re actually happy with that job at the Quarterdeck). It’s a matter of prioritizing. Well, that’s the official line. Unofficially, rumor has it that the very concept of a “credit hour” was original designed to tell a student how much work they were expected to do—brace yourself—not in class, but outside of class! 3 credit hours does not mean that your class meets three times a week for a total of 3 hours, in fact, most 3 credit hour courses only meet for 2 ½ hours a week. So where does that “3” come from? Three credit hours means that for every hour you spend in the classroom, you are expected to do three hours of work outside of class. That’s why we call students who are taking 12 credit hours “full-time students”—twelve hours of class isn’t full time, but if you are taking 12 credit hours, we expect you to be spending a minimum of 36 hours a week doing homework. (See? 12 hours a week isn’t full-time, but 48 hours a week definitely is.) So, if you’re working 20-hours a week at the Quarterdeck, and taking a full-time load, you’re working 68 hours a week. That leaves you 100 hours a week for sleeping, eating, and partying. In short, welcome to adulthood. If you don’t believe me, ask one of the non-trads in your course. As for my courses, the workload is planned as follows: English courses at LSSU are for three credit hours, thus 9 hours of your study time per week are mine to assign work for. I make assignments based on this average load with the understanding that the average student working 9 hours a week on my class (including class time) will complete all the assignments in an average way (that is, with a grade of “C”). If you want a grade higher than a “C”, you’ll probably have to make better use of those 9 hours or find more time in your schedule. |
